Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Robert Downey, Jr. Gets Hard, Kim Catrall Doesn’t Get Laid, and Other News from the Movies

Okay, so it’s been awhile; I’ve seen lots of movies, and you’ve already seen them all, too. Movie reviews aren’t all that much in demand a month or two after movies open. But, then again, I’m not really writing to help people make decisions about movies anyway, am I? Nope. I’m writing for purely narcissistic motives, to show how clever I am, and charming and funny and talented, and did I mention grandiose?

Sorry I’ve been away—life overwhelmed me. It does that from time to time—even to clever, charming, funny and talented people. Even the grandiose. But enough about me . . .

To catch everyone up on some of the theatrical (and one non-theatrical) offerings of the blockbuster season so far, I’ll give you a few little, bitty reviews—let’s call them quickies.

Ironman rocks, and Robert Downey, Jr. is just plain hot.

Nim’s Island is a great movie for little girls (both inner and outer), and Gerard Butler is just plain hot.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull delivers exactly what you’d expect—lots of fun and implausible action sequences, and Harrison Ford is just plain not that hot anymore. Shia LaBeouf is working on it, though.

The Strangers is an unsettling but successful exercise in sustained tension, so if you like riding the edge of your seat, this movie is for you. I’ve seen Scott Speedman hotter.

Uncounted is a fascinating and frightening documentary by David Earnhardt about voting improprieties which focuses mostly but not exclusively on the 2000 and 2004 presidential elections. The movie is not in theatrical release, but is available at www.uncountedthemovie.com. It’s definitely worth getting and watching. You can watch the movie trailer and get more information at the website. It attempts to be nonpartisan, but I don’t. George Bush is oh-so-definitely NOT hot. In fact, I’m not entirely sure he’s even human.

Sex and the City is surprisingly good and true to the feel of the HBO series, although watching Kim Catrall getting chunkier and not getting laid was an unexpected shocker. And, while certainly adorable, Mr. Big aka Chris Noth, has always fallen into the tepid range for me. McDonald’s coffee he ain’t.

And speaking of Sex and the City, I give the TV series the credit or perhaps I should say the responsibility for the obsession with designer purses and shoes in this country. Not that I’m above it, because I’m not. I would probably be willing to go to quite embarrassing lengths to snag a pair of Manolos. And my friends refuse to help me move ever again unless I agree to get rid of some of my many, many shoes. HOWEVER, when I was sitting in the drive-thru line at McDonald’s at lunch today, and I watched a young woman no more than 17 or 18 years old get out of a first degree klunker of a car and put on her McDonald’s employee shirt over her top as she trudged into the restaurant to go to work dropping fries or maybe squirting secret sauce, all while she carried a large Louis Vitton purse on her arm, I just had to ask myself: do we maybe have our priorities all screwed up in this country?


See you next time! I promise to be more diligent in my postings!


Hungry Passport said...

I should have shoved my fingers into my (cyber)ears and gone, "lah lah lah lah" until I'd seen Sex and the City. Kim Cattrall not getting laid? It's the end of the world, I'm convinced. As for the McDonald's employee, was that really a Louis Vuitton bag or a knockoff? The latter, I'll bet. As for your shoes? C'mon, I've helped you move plenty of times, and it's your BOOKS that cause hernias, wailing and the gnashing of teeth. Why do you think I REALLY moved to California?! ;) xoxo Carol p.s. Kung Fu Panda rocks!

Bianca said...

I don't get Sex in the City...but then again, I only wear Converse and flip-flops...and sometimes a cute pair of cheap non-leather Payless flats. I'd rather spend money on booze...and tofu.

Paul, however, loves to shop and owns more shoes than me. He even buys matching shoes when he gets a new outfit...and yes, my boyfriend buys outfits....who's the girl in this relationship?